Source: Retro Television Network
Domain: TootsieBlogger.com
Friday, April 4, 2008
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Obama’s Song
Since he appears to be the Messiahnic [hope there is such a word] candidate of 2008, Barack Hussein Obama deserves his own song. Hope this stolen one suffices
I am Barack Obama,
a man of mystery.
I want to be your President;
you can rely on me.
-
I promise to raise taxes,
but only on the rich.
Don’t worry that I’ll change my mind;
it’s not a bait and switch! (wink)
-
I’ll make the war in Iraq be over.
The terrorists will win.
That’s nothing for you to fret about;
I know Osama is our friend.
-
I’m going to fix our economy,
even though it isn’t broke.
Relax, the Government can do it all.
Capitalism is a joke.
-
I’m a clean well spoken black man,
with nothing much to say.
Ain’t it grand that the liberal press
don’t get in my way?
-
I’ll be a fabulous leader.
I’m handsome and quite tall.
While I have no talent for decisions,
the UN can make them all.
-
So blindly buy my speeches,
fall under my spell.
Let me run the Country,
and I’ll lead us straight to Hell!
With due apologies to OB ....... hope he takes it in the right sense and he should at least make a diversion to paradise.....
With best wishes....
I am Barack Obama,
a man of mystery.
I want to be your President;
you can rely on me.
-
I promise to raise taxes,
but only on the rich.
Don’t worry that I’ll change my mind;
it’s not a bait and switch! (wink)
-
I’ll make the war in Iraq be over.
The terrorists will win.
That’s nothing for you to fret about;
I know Osama is our friend.
-
I’m going to fix our economy,
even though it isn’t broke.
Relax, the Government can do it all.
Capitalism is a joke.
-
I’m a clean well spoken black man,
with nothing much to say.
Ain’t it grand that the liberal press
don’t get in my way?
-
I’ll be a fabulous leader.
I’m handsome and quite tall.
While I have no talent for decisions,
the UN can make them all.
-
So blindly buy my speeches,
fall under my spell.
Let me run the Country,
and I’ll lead us straight to Hell!
With due apologies to OB ....... hope he takes it in the right sense and he should at least make a diversion to paradise.....
With best wishes....
Monday, March 17, 2008
More Hillary From Jay Leno
Hillary Clinton says that her childhood dream was to be an Olympic athlete. But she was not athletic enough.
She said she wanted to be an astronaut, but at the time they didn't take women.
She said she wanted to go into medicine, but hospitals made her woozy.
Should she be telling people this story?
Basically she says she wants to be president because she can't do anything else......Typical Jay.......
On another hand, Jay's issue on Cows is a riot...............
Isn't it amazing that a government can track a cow with Mad Cow Disease born in Canada, almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington? And then further track her calves to their stalls.
But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around thee country......without proper papers or a visa.
It would be easier if each of them were given a cow.!!!
She said she wanted to be an astronaut, but at the time they didn't take women.
She said she wanted to go into medicine, but hospitals made her woozy.
Should she be telling people this story?
Basically she says she wants to be president because she can't do anything else......Typical Jay.......
On another hand, Jay's issue on Cows is a riot...............
Isn't it amazing that a government can track a cow with Mad Cow Disease born in Canada, almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington? And then further track her calves to their stalls.
But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around thee country......without proper papers or a visa.
It would be easier if each of them were given a cow.!!!
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Aishwarya Rai's movie Bride & Prejudice
After a great success of Aishwarya Rai's movie Bride And Prejudice all over the world, Indian government wanted a special postage stamp with her picture on it to recognize her.
Government stress that it should be world class. The stamps were released, and Indian Government and Aishwarya Rai were both pleased. But within a couple of days, they began hearing complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and became furious. Indian Government ordered the CBI to investigate the matter.
The CBI ran a surprise check at several Post Offices, and found the root of the problem. They, then reported that to the Government Officials that and assured that the stamp was really world class.
The problem is, all the peoples are licking on the wrong side of the stamp !
Government stress that it should be world class. The stamps were released, and Indian Government and Aishwarya Rai were both pleased. But within a couple of days, they began hearing complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and became furious. Indian Government ordered the CBI to investigate the matter.
The CBI ran a surprise check at several Post Offices, and found the root of the problem. They, then reported that to the Government Officials that and assured that the stamp was really world class.
The problem is, all the peoples are licking on the wrong side of the stamp !
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Political Viruses
The following is the list of some new viruses going round in India. Better beware of them.
V.P. Singh Virus:
This virus reserves a quota for each instruction, and executes them
only according to the quota. Needless to say, the least used instructions have a higher quota than the more used instructions. This virus is also known as social justice virus.
Sukh Ram Virus:
This virus first swallows 10% of the bits in each instruction and then executes them.
Maneka Gandhi Virus:
This is a green virus. It executes only those programmes that were written by vegetarians or animals.
L.K. Advani Virus:
This virus pops up every now and then, and the only way you can continue working is by typing Jai Shri Ram 108 times.
K.P.S. Gill Virus:
Only ladies need to worry about this virus. Every now and then the users get a whack, you know where.
Deve Gowda Virus:
The main characterestic of this virus is that it tries to schedule all the processes at the same time. Frankly speaking, this virus services all the request for resources,and allocates them irrespective of whether they are available or not.
Jayalalitha Virus:
This actually is a family of viruses. Each member of this virus family grab as much of hard disk space as possible,while the main virus is totally unaware of it. When everything stops working,this virus blames the user for the whole chaos.
I.K.Gujral Virus:
Before executing any instruction, this virus calls tries to get the approval of 18 other viruses and most of the time, one of the viruses blocks the instruction. So Gujral virus most of the time does not execute anything. While it is not doing anything, as it is always, this virus connects to the Internet and keeps sending data to all major/minor countries in the World except India w/o receiving the replies.
Veerappan virus:
This virus plays hide and seek. it captures some resources and releases them after sometime. it sometimes seems to be eradicated but suddenly reappears.
Laloo Yadav virus:
A dangerous virus, gulps all the resources as well as it corrupts the data. If you try to use scanner, During hibernation,it will rename its signature with another deadly virus of the same family. This virus takes help from other viruses to avoid scanning.
Mulayam Virus:
Whatever way, it will try to grab resources of the system, it's only task is to abort BJP processes. this virus hangs the system by sending conflicting signals to different hardware units.
Sonia Gandhi Virus:
Once a part of most deadly virus family of the world. No scanner can detect now, how much damage it can cause to the system, but people
use Bofors scanner for temporary protection.
Kashi-Maya Virus:
It's also called the Dalit virus, it destabilizes the co-ordination
amongst different resources, It controls & steps the low priority
resources from functioning. Lot of scanners available now to kill it. Other viruses are thriving by splitting this virus.
P.V. Narasimha Rao Virus:
First of all, this virus reduces the CPU speed to 66Hz. Before executing any instruction, it deleberates over it a number of times and finally does nothing.
V.P. Singh Virus:
This virus reserves a quota for each instruction, and executes them
only according to the quota. Needless to say, the least used instructions have a higher quota than the more used instructions. This virus is also known as social justice virus.
Sukh Ram Virus:
This virus first swallows 10% of the bits in each instruction and then executes them.
Maneka Gandhi Virus:
This is a green virus. It executes only those programmes that were written by vegetarians or animals.
L.K. Advani Virus:
This virus pops up every now and then, and the only way you can continue working is by typing Jai Shri Ram 108 times.
K.P.S. Gill Virus:
Only ladies need to worry about this virus. Every now and then the users get a whack, you know where.
Deve Gowda Virus:
The main characterestic of this virus is that it tries to schedule all the processes at the same time. Frankly speaking, this virus services all the request for resources,and allocates them irrespective of whether they are available or not.
Jayalalitha Virus:
This actually is a family of viruses. Each member of this virus family grab as much of hard disk space as possible,while the main virus is totally unaware of it. When everything stops working,this virus blames the user for the whole chaos.
I.K.Gujral Virus:
Before executing any instruction, this virus calls tries to get the approval of 18 other viruses and most of the time, one of the viruses blocks the instruction. So Gujral virus most of the time does not execute anything. While it is not doing anything, as it is always, this virus connects to the Internet and keeps sending data to all major/minor countries in the World except India w/o receiving the replies.
Veerappan virus:
This virus plays hide and seek. it captures some resources and releases them after sometime. it sometimes seems to be eradicated but suddenly reappears.
Laloo Yadav virus:
A dangerous virus, gulps all the resources as well as it corrupts the data. If you try to use scanner, During hibernation,it will rename its signature with another deadly virus of the same family. This virus takes help from other viruses to avoid scanning.
Mulayam Virus:
Whatever way, it will try to grab resources of the system, it's only task is to abort BJP processes. this virus hangs the system by sending conflicting signals to different hardware units.
Sonia Gandhi Virus:
Once a part of most deadly virus family of the world. No scanner can detect now, how much damage it can cause to the system, but people
use Bofors scanner for temporary protection.
Kashi-Maya Virus:
It's also called the Dalit virus, it destabilizes the co-ordination
amongst different resources, It controls & steps the low priority
resources from functioning. Lot of scanners available now to kill it. Other viruses are thriving by splitting this virus.
P.V. Narasimha Rao Virus:
First of all, this virus reduces the CPU speed to 66Hz. Before executing any instruction, it deleberates over it a number of times and finally does nothing.
Jayalalitha's tax dues
A man is on his way home from work one afternoon in Chennai. He's stopped in traffic and thinks, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual we're not even moving."
He notices a police officer walking down thehighway in between the cars and he rolls down his window and says,"Excuse me officer, what's the hold up?"
"Jayalalitha just found out the verdict, and she's all depressed. She's lying down in the middle of the highway and she's threatening to douse herself in gasoline and light herself on fire. She just doesn't have Rs.85 Crores for the tax dues. I'm walking around taking up a collection for her".
He notices a police officer walking down thehighway in between the cars and he rolls down his window and says,"Excuse me officer, what's the hold up?"
"Jayalalitha just found out the verdict, and she's all depressed. She's lying down in the middle of the highway and she's threatening to douse herself in gasoline and light herself on fire. She just doesn't have Rs.85 Crores for the tax dues. I'm walking around taking up a collection for her".
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